.....that ye may see

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Yes I know that it is not actually Valentine's Day but thought I could at least share about it! We decided that it would be easier for Brianna to not be out in the crowds on Valentine’s Day so Brianna and I celebrated a day early. We went to Texas Roadhouse and had a blast. It was a lot of fun getting out of the house just the two of us! We laughed and talked and enjoyed the special evening to ourselves. The next night, Kim and Terry went out to celebrate, which meant we had the house and the boys all to ourselves. What a blast! Sometimes, when we are here just the four of us, everything feels normal and for a moment in time we don't think about all the stress that is going on. For one evening, we were able to relax and enjoy this precious time as a family! We ate dinner and then decided to have a little photo shoot (I am not a professional so don't make fun of my terrible photos). We danced to some music, read some books and then got the little ones down for bed. I have included some photos to share our exciting evening.

Treatment Update

In my last blog, I explained that Brianna had decided to use an alternative treatment called Protocel. The original plan was that Brianna would take Protocel for 6 weeks then have a scan and determine the plan of action moving forward from there. Since then we have had some updates. Kim was able to talk to someone at the Vitamin Depot where we obtained the Protocel. We found out that Protocel may actually take up to 4-8 months in order to see any results. As such, Brianna would like to wait at least 4 months before doing any scans to see how things have progressed. Brianna was originally taking Protocel 23 (one of the two options) and we found out that she should actually be taking Protocel 50 for her type of tumor so she has switched. Protocel 50 is taken every 6 hours so only 4 times a day instead of 5 times a day which makes it a little easier for her. You may think as I did, well she is taking it less which means she is getting less but Protocel 50 is said to have a higher concentration so it should equal out. Brianna also learned that she should be taking some enzymes so she has been doing that as well. We still haven't seen any signs of improvement so we will continue to hope and pray. As such, we just ask for your continued support and prayers. We feel your strength.

Surgery?!?!?!

 Some of you have already heard that Brianna had a small procedure yesterday. As most of you are aware, when all of this started, Brianna's left eyelid began to shut and has been completely closed since October. She really hasn't been able to use that eye at all. Lately, her right eye (the good eye) started showing the same symptoms. This was very concerning. In order to help Brianna see, I would tape her eye open each day and that is the only way she could really see. I felt this was not enough and she deserved a better quality of life. I asked Dr. Lindsay (Her eye doctor) what he thought and he referred us to a specialist, Dr. Durairaj (Dur-ray-raj) in Austin. Brianna traveled with my parents two weeks ago to see him and he explained that he could put in a Frontalis silicone sling for her eyelid. This would mean surgically inserting a band that would allow Brianna's eye to open more and without tape. He would attach it to her eyebrow muscles and this would allow her to have better control of her eye and still be able to close it. He told us that he felt this should happen quickly and he would rush things with the insurance company. One week later, we were informed that she would have surgery on February 24 at 11:30 am. I felt that we should go ahead and get a hotel and travel to Austin the night before and rest and enjoy some time alone as a couple. I am sure glad I made that decision because two days prior to the surgery, they called and moved her time from 11:30 am to 7:30 am and asked us to arrive at 6 am. College station is about two hours from Austin, which meant we would have left the house at 4 am!! Once again, glad we got a hotel! A couple of days before we left, I decided to really enjoy this trip with Brianna and take a bit of a drive.

For those of you who don't know, we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Almost 5 years ago we were married in the Houston Temple. The temple is a place of worship and a sacred place for us. We believe it is a sacred place where we can go and worship Heavenly Father and feel closer to Him than anywhere else on earth. This is where we were married not only for time but also for all eternity, to be a family unit for all of time. It is a sacred place and a sacred feeling to be there. Unfortunately, when Hurricane Harvey struck Houston, the Houston Temple was flooded and is still being repaired. The next closest temple is in San Antonio. I felt that this was a rare opportunity where our boys were being watched and taken care of that we could travel the long distance without expectations of when to be back. I didn't tell Brianna where we were going on Friday and headed to San Antonio. She slept most of the way, which made it even easier to surprise her! We arrived at the temple and she told me that is where she thought we were going but was very happy! The last time we had been to the temple was while we were at the Mayo Clinic.

What a blessing it was to be in temple together again. What great peace and strength we felt. How grateful we are for temples and the blessings we receive because of them. We both felt very emotional and it was nice to just be together and leave the world behind for a few hours while we spent time together worshipping in the House of the Lord. As we entered, we were both given a wonderful surprise. The Nordin's (Jeff, Leslie, and Sam) good family friends from Houston were there as well. We decided after the temple that we would go to dinner to catch up. That was a blast. We probably took longer than we should have but we caught up and enjoyed a meal together. Again, what a wonderful feeling to enjoy the precious moments that God gives us without having to worry about all the other things in life. For that moment in time, we were able to just laugh and live and enjoy the marvelous life we have been given.

Following dinner we drove to Austin, which was about an hour and half from San Antonio. When we got to the hotel, I realized that Brianna and I are no longer that poor. What a sad hotel this was. I will never pay so low again. I may not have millions, but we have enough to have a better experience than that. The room smelled like someone had just been smoking in there, the walls were paper thin so yelling was a go, and there weren't even real pillows. I told Brianna to get our things and we were going to somewhere nicer and she reminded me it was only one night and that we would survive. If it weren’t for her saying that, we would have gone elsewhere. I have learned my lesson and will not go for the lowest bidder ever again.

We woke up at 4:45 am so we could start getting ready, pack up and get to the hospital. We arrived right at 6 and headed to the ER like we were asked to. The ER registration desk had no idea what we were supposed to do and had no idea that she was supposed to check Brianna in. Luckily another employee walked in and told her what she needed to do but then she left! The person still confused did what she thought needed to be done and had Brianna checked in. She handed me her name bracelet and asked me to put it on her. As I work in healthcare I knew I needed to verify the information on the label before putting it on Brianna, which I did. She then told us to head to the surgical waiting area. We asked where that was and she said she wasn't sure but to follow the signs in the hallway and we would get there. The maze began. It was a nightmare. It took at least 10 minutes to find our way up to the first floor and through all the hallways. We finally made it to the surgical waiting area, where the lights were off and not a person was in sight. I waited a few minutes and didn't see a soul. I started looking around and found Environmental Services personnel and asked where we could find some help. He informed us that we should just walk back into the OR prep rooms and keep walking until we found a nurse. This seemed very odd to walk back into a badge only area but that is what we did. We finally found a nurse and she said, "Oh good you found us". (Yeah Barely!).

Anyway, they prepped Brianna for the surgery and they took her back. I went down to find some food as I was hungry. As I was eating the Doctor gave me a call and informed me that everything went well and the surgery was a success. He said they were taking her back to recovery and they would call me to go back soon. I finished breakfast and headed upstairs to wait. They called me back and she was still waking up from the Anesthesia so I just talked to her to help her wake up. The nurses then gave me her bag and said to get her dressed and then they could help me take her to the care. I felt this was a little fast but I started to get Brianna ready. As I did so, she started to feel nauseated and felt a lot of pain in her eye. They gave her some pain meds a couple of times, which didn't work. They had already pulled out the IV so they had to start another one to give her a stronger dose of pain meds via IV. They informed me because they had done that; they would need to monitor her for at least another 30 minutes.

One of my old friends Big Mike (that was his nick name at Scout Camp) lives in Austin and he came to see us so we could catch up. I was talking to him no more than 15 minutes when the nurse called and said to go get my truck, as Brianna was ready to go. I knew it hadn't been 30 minutes but I went to pull it around so I could come back in and help finish getting her ready. When I pulled up, Brianna was already on the wheelchair and outside. She was as loopy as she could be and extremely nauseated. The nurse didn't seem to care as I helped her into my truck. The nurse then turned around and left. I was pretty frustrated to say the least. They doped her up on pain meds just to get her out and now it was my problem if she had pain or was extremely nauseated which would be easy considering we had a 2 hour drive home. Brianna tried to sleep the whole way home and was successful on the parts of the trip that didn't have winding roads. We finally made it home and she went inside and slept pretty much the rest of the day.

Besides the crazy experience with the hospital, Brianna is very happy with her eye. She no longer feels much pain at all and doesn't feel nauseated which is great! She is able to open it more than she has in a LONG time and that makes it much easier to see. I can tell this has lifted her spirits. Oh I meant to mention, this procedure is reversible so if they ever need to remove it, they can do so easily! She still has some healing to do but overall she is happy with the surgery and is excited to be able to use her eye more fully again.

We continue to see miracles in our lives and we have been blessed more than we could have ever imagined. We know that God lives. We know that he knows our needs and He knows us individually. We know that He is the Supreme Being and that His plan is one of Happiness. We know that our thoughts are not His thoughts and we pray that we will understand His will and accept His will. We know that Jesus is the Christ. It is through the Atonement that we can be forgiven of our sins and have the opportunity to return to live with God. Jesus Christ not only carries the burdens for our sins, but he carries our every burden. As we turn to Him in faith, we will be lifted and strengthened during this time. One of my favorite scriptures is found in the Book of Mormon. "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions". We know that God can lift us during this time and we know that have been. We continue to put our faith and trust in God and we encourage you to do the same. May we each find the peace we are looking for and may we continue to be strengthened by the Lord.

Love,

The Geddie’s

#BriannatheBrave

It amazes me how busy life can be even to write just a simple blog! However, I know many of you want updates and yearn to know where things are so here we go...

Eli came home from the hospital on January 26, 2018. He no longer needed breathing support nor his feeding tube. He is doing really well. When Eli was born he weighed 4 lbs 10 oz. He now weighs 6 lbs 6 oz. He is drinking formula as Brianna is not able to breastfeed and we decided this would be easier anyway. We absolutely love having him home and it is so wonderful not having to travel to the hospital twice a day to see Eli. He is fed every three hours 3, 6, 9, 12 and repeat. Sometimes it feels like we are a broken record with the schedule but he is doing great! I have the lucky job of the 12 am and 3 am feedings which I don't mind too much. I am tired at times but it does allow me to spend some precious time with my son in ways that I wouldn't be able to otherwise. He is sleeping well and adjusting to home life very well. Watson loves having his baby brother around. Unfortunately he has been slightly sick ever since Eli came home so he hasn't had the chance to hold him just yet but we will get there and I am certain that he will love it. Life seems almost normal.......

Brianna had an appointment with her Medical Oncologist Dr. Jenkins on Thursday January 18, 2018. Prior to that appointment, she went and had repeat MRI to follow up with radiation and determine the next steps. For the past several months, there have been conversations regarding which direction Brianna should take with her treatment. There has been discussion regarding chemotherapy as on option and alternative treatments as another option. Brianna was weighing the options for a long time and trying to decide between the two. The main two treatment options she was considering were Temodar (Chemo) or Protocel (Alternative). Temodar is the standard treatment that the physicians would suggest and Protocel seems to be the standard treatment that any alternative consumer would suggest. Temodar is a chemo pill that would be taken daily for 5 days in a row and then have 23 days off with no chemo and then repeat. It is typical to continue this treatment regimen for several years. Temodar is typically considered maintenance chemotherapy and over time although it may prolong the progression of the tumor; it typically doesn't last for more than two or three years. Protocel on the other hand, is a liquid that is taken every day, five times a day. There are no clinical trials for Protocel but many people have shared their success stories from using it. It is typical to continue this treatment until it no longer works. These are the two she was mainly deciding between although there were others.

While meeting with Dr. Jenkins, we were informed that the MRI showed some minor growth which could mean a couple of things. It could mean that the cancer continued to grow during the radiation treatment or it could also mean that there is simply some swelling still. Dr. Jenkins said that the MRI won't be a tell all and that the treatment would tell us in real time what is happening. However, he did inform us that without the chemo followed by radiation that the survival rate for 2 years is roughly 10% and chemo would only improve that to about 27%. He then shared with us that regardless of choosing chemo or not, the survival rate for Brianna's type of cancer would be about 5% at 5 years. This was a big shock for us all. It is hard to believe all of this is happening but we continued to ask questions and we all continue to love and support Brianna.

Brianna had a tough decision to make and she went back and forth a lot but she ended up deciding her treatment plan as she felt was the best option. She has decided to start with Protocel and see what it does for at least 6-8 weeks. She wants to reevaluate then. If it is working and she feels like she is improving, she will continue the Protocel. If she feels it isn't working or she feels like there hasn't been much improvement her plan at that point would be to switch to the chemotherapy. I love her and support her decision as I hope each of you will do. I know that making this decision was one of the hardest choices she has had to make.

I hope more than anything, as I am sure each of you do, that Brianna will be healed. I hope that she will overcome this and I hope that we will continue to raise our children together. Most importantly, I hope that Brianna is happy and feels loved. I know that God lives and He is truly a God of miracles. I know if it is His will that she is to be healed, then she will be. I also know if He has other plans, our family will continue to put our trust and faith in Him. Sometimes we don't understand the reasoning or understand the motive behind different trials in our lives but I do know that if we put our faith and trust in God, that we can overcome all things.

I recently started reading a book "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience" and I came across this quote, "The myopic and despairing soul-cry and question, "If there is a god, why does He permit suffering?" reflects a basic failure to understand the very nature of life with its components of chastening and suffering. And as for that question, it is not difficult to imagine who originated it, however understandably sincere some are who now raise it. The question strikes at the heart of Father's plan, because it comes from him who rejected that plan!". Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us to return to live with Him eternally. We don't always understand why that is sooner for some than others. I am not saying I think it is Brianna's time, but if He is calling her home, this is His plan and I will trust in Him. Another quote that I read, "Furthermore, since there was no exemption from suffering for Christ, how can there be one for us? Do we really want immunity from adversity? Especially when certain kinds of suffering can aid our growth in this life? To deprive ourselves of those experiences, much as we might momentarily like to, would be to deprive ourselves of the outcomes over which we shouted with anticipated joy when this life's experiences were explained to us so long ago, in the world before we came here." It is easy to look at trials and tribulations and to blame God. Brianna and I continue to look towards God with hope and with thankful hearts. Through our trials, we are drawing closer to each other and to our Father in Heaven. We are able to more fully understand joy because we are experiencing the sorrow. We continue to trust in Heavenly Father and live each day to the fullest. It would be easy to give up or to fear the unknown but we choose to live and love. There are moments when we feel tired and weak but in those moments we are lifted up by God and often it is through each of you that we feel uplifted. We continue to ask for your support and your prayers as that is what allows us to continue to have hope because we feel that strength. May we each strive to put our trust in God.

We know that God lives and loves each of His children. We are all His children and He has a plan for each of us to return to live with Him. We know that Jesus Christ lives and it is because of His great love and sacrifice that we can each be uplifted through our trials. We know that we are here to gain experience and to truly learn joy. In order to truly understand joy we must feel sorrow and suffering. We know that God will never give us more than we can handle and that through our trials we can become who Heavenly Father wants us to be. Often times this requires some stretching. "The soul is like a violin string: It makes music only when it is stretched". Heavenly Father sees our inner potential and as we continue to trust in Him and put our faith in His plan, we can become who He intends us to become. We know that our family is Eternal and that no matter how long or short this life may be, we can each live with our families again after this life. We are forever happy and grateful for all we are given and we will continue to find the joy in all things we are given, one simple day at a time.